WAZAT!
by Zyne the Demonic Tallest
Summary: What happens when you plink a freakishly adorable demon smeet btween the Tallest and Zim? Rated PG-13 now. Update PART 7!! YOU CAN STOP HATING ME NOW!!!
1. Default Chapter

Authors Note: Okay I know I haven't added a story in a LONG TIME ever since the Zim Whose Line fic. But I've been busy. Well this is what happens when you catch me at 4 in the morning and giving me Red Hots. A horribly adorable and cutish lil Irken smeet demon thingy. Enjoy  
  
Dsiclaimer: I do not own the Tallest, Zim, or Dib, or any Irken in that area. They are the sole creations of Jhonen (or is it Jhnen now? I'm confused) Vasquez.  
  
WAZAT  
  
A small Irken tech stood before the Tallest, holding a box. The box was making horrible growling noises and shook violently. The Tallest stared at it, perplexed.  
  
"Why did you come here tech?" Red asked.  
  
"Yah! I'm missing Jerry!" chimed in Purple. The tech shook his head miserably. He set the box down on the floor. "My Tallest, the cloning machine must be faulty because it created." At this point, the tech stuck his hand into the box but quickly retreated it with a squeal of pain. "AH! IT BIT ME!" "What bit you?" Red queried.curious. "As I was saying, there must be a hiccup in the system because the cloning machine created.this!" The tech held up a tiny Irken smeet with defined claws on her hands and feet and stubby nubs of horn on her head next to the antennae. She yawned, revealing sharper than usual teeth. "What the hell is that?!" Red exclaimed.  
  
"Awwwwwww..it's so CUTE!" Purple cooed. Red gave his fellow leader a quizzical glance before returning his attention to the tech, who had begun talking again. "It hasn't had any data upload yet. And there's no room for a PAK," he continued, turning the smeet backwards to reveal miniscule dragon wings and tail. "And it doesn't know a single word or manners obviously," the tech pointed out as the smeet gnawed on the fingers grasping her, sending forth a purplish liquid that got all over her. "It is obviously a reject. Shall I dispose of it?" Red nodded, "Yes, it is best we do." Purple grabbed the smeet. " No! No! No! Let it live with us! We can teach it! Then it'll be our servant!" "You are a real stickler for cute aren't you?" Purple nothing but poked the smeet's tummy, the smeet growled back.  
  
Red sighed, "Fine! We'll keep it."  
  
"It needs a name," Purple said, a few days later, watching the smeet sleep, her wings gently rising and falling. " How bout Bob?" "I think it's a female." Red replied.  
  
"How would you know?!"  
  
Red fell awkwardly silent for a few moments."Since we don't know what the hell SHE is.Let's call her Wazat." Purple nodded in agreement.  
  
The next week was relatively peaceful since all Wazat seemed to do was sleep. However one day, Red came across Wazat on the floor, gnawing on something that was sickeningly familiar.his scarlet eyes fell upon the mangled body of the tech that had discovered Wazat in the first place. It was then Red realized what Wazat had in her mouth.the former tech's arm.  
  
"Uh Purple? I think you should come and check on your little 'sleeping angel'?!" Purple hovered in and saw the whole thing, "Oh my." "Who coincidentally.isn't asleep anymore," Red finished. Purple went over and hit Wazat sharply on the head. "We do NOT kill and eat each other!" He jerked the arm fiercely out of Wazat's teeth. " Bad! BAD WAZAT!!!" He crossed his arms and watched Wazat sternly."What do you say?" Wazat blinked a few times and lowered her antennae. She crouched and hissed, then dashed out of the room past Red and Purple on all fours. After they had sent somebody to clean up Wazat's carnage, Red and Purple were back in the conference room.  
  
"Mr. Mom." Red chuckled.  
  
Purple blushed, "Well.I mean she had to be punished. Wazat can't go around eating people."  
  
"The way that lil habit is going, she should be locked up in a cage!" Red said fiercely. "She isn't a normal Irken. What if she comes after us next huh? After what I saw what she did to that tech, I'm kinda fearful for my life." Purple shook his head, "Wazat wouldn't kill us, we're practically her parents. We named her for crying out loud!" A few Irken screams issued from the other side of the closed conference room door, followed by a familiar growl..The Tallest gulped.  
  
Aww cute lil Wazat. She's so misunderstood. Read and reply and make me HAPPY! 


	2. Chapter 2 or Part 2 (Whatever You May Fa...

Authors Note: FWAHAHA! My friend came back today. I am so happy! Anyways, heres a pic of the infamous Wazat.  
  
http://ftp.boomspeed.com/wazat.jpg Enjoy the next part!  
  
That night Red slept with a bat. He stayed awake as long as he could to watch out for Wazat, who could attack him in his sleep. Obviously, Purple didn't think so, you could hear his snores next door. Red tried to fight is, but sleep was victor, his eyelids drooped and he sunk into his pillow. Soon, he was aware of a slight wait on his chest. Red cracked his eyes open a bit and saw 2 ruby eyes staring at him, or more precisely, his throat. To his horror he felt hot breath on his neck as the 2 eyes drew closer. He even thought he could feel a small pain, like teeth beginning to sink into his wind pipe. With a yell he grabbed the bat and smashed it into the skull of his assailant, emitting a loud crack, sending the attacker into the wall. Red flicked on the lights and saw the crumpled body of an unconscious Wazat on the floor at the base of the wall. One side of her head was covered in blood, but so were the tips of her teeth- purple stains. He put his hand to his throat and discovered that it was bleeding, but only a little.if he had slept any deeper.Red shuddered as Purple entered the room.  
  
"WHAT ON IRK IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" Red pointed to Wazat, who appeared dead. Purple looked at her, then Red, and back again. He knew what they had to do with Wazat, but it was gonna be hard. The next morning it was decided. Purple and Red sat in the bridge of the Massive, the unconscious Wazat in a box at their feet. A soldier stood beside the box, a small laser cannon at his side. Neither Red nor Purple said anything for a few minutes. The soldier picked up the box. "Shall I do it, sirs?" Purple held up a hand. "Can I at least say goodbye?" HE gently stroked Wazat, who didn't respond. He curled her antenna around a claw as Red looked on. He never knew that Purple could be so sympathetic, it even looked like he was about to cry. Red felt very sorry for his partner.it must have felt like losing a child. Suddenly Red got an idea. He took the box from the soldier. " I've got a better idea. Let's send her to Zim! That way, we can be rid of him and we can check on Wazat too."  
  
Purple perked up at this, "All right." In a few minutes Wazat was packed into a padded crate like the one the Megadoomer was shipped in only smaller. It was launched into space with its coordinates Earth.  
  
Meanwhile on Earth in Zim's base, Zim was busy with modifying his closter range vision goggles. Suddenly the Earth shook and Zim fell onto the ground. He raised himself out of the toilet and to the living room where GIR had his face pressed against the glass window, his tongue lolling out. "LOOK MASTA! YOUS GOT MAIL!" Zim walked outside and brought in the box that had crashed into his front yard. "Now, who would send me something?" He saw the Tallest insignia on the top of the box. "AH! The Tallest must have finally sent me my plasma cannon!" Zim grinned as he ripped open the box and Wazat fell out. Wazat looked at Zim and GIR, who was drooling on her. She was conscious now. She backed back into the box and growled. Zim was confused, why the heck would the Tallest send him a smeet? And a highly deformed one at that. GIR walked into the box and dragged Wazat out by her tail. Wazat squirmed and tried to bite GIR's hand off. GIR giggled insanely, "Awww. She like's me!" Zim pressed a button and the disturbed monkey picture became a screen showing the Tallest. "My Tallest, I was wondering why would you send me a defective smeet?" Purple got in front of Red. "Awww! Look! He got Wazat!!!"  
  
Zim stared at the monster trying to chew on GIR's head. "Wazat?" Red blinked, "Yes Zim. Why we sent you the smeet. Your new assignment is to look after Wazat and teach her stuff." Zim looked at his Tallest, who were grinning so hard that the Cheshire cat would beg for mercy if he tried to. "How will this help me with my mission?"  
  
Purple stepped in. "So you can be prepared for anything! If you pass this test, we'll give you whatever you need! We'll be checking back every once in a while to see how you're doing. Bye!"  
  
"WAIT! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF SMEETS!" Zim screamed, but too late, the screen returned to its freaky monkeyness. Zim sighed and pried Wazat off of GIR's head. Wazat yowled and bit his finger. Zim screamed and dropped her. Wazat sat down on the floor, staring up at Zim curiously. "So, can u talk?"  
  
Wazat cocked her head slightly. Zim groaned. "Great I've got teach you to talk.Well this won't take long.All I gotta do is upload data into your- Waitaminnit?! Where's your PAK?" GIR squealed. "She don't got one!!!!!" he screamed, positively delighted. "She got wings!! She can fly!" Zim slapped his hand to his head.."This is going to take..a LONG time."  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAY!"  
  
For the next few days Zim completely ignored Wazat, continuing his plot to take over the Earth. He had better things to do than play nanny to a defective smeet. GIR seemed to have filled this posistion anyway, despite the fact that he had a lot of new holes in him and wasn't functioning as properly. But how could you tell with GIR. But finally when it was time to go to skool, Zim had to find some way to keep Wazat from destroying his base while he was gone. On the first day however, he decided to take a chance..It was the worst mistake he ever could make..  
  
HAH! Suspense! MOO! 


	3. The Secret Is Out

Author's note: You asked for it. The next part of Wazat. Dib shows up in the chapter and is just begging for it... Yep. Enjoy  
  
Zim came home in an okay mood, Dib didn't seem to have enough energy to accuse him of anything and he kept making frequent trips to the bathroom that deeply annoyed Ms. Bitters. Zim grinned as he opened the door, "GIR! GIR!!! The Choco-Lax trick worked!!!! Dib'll HAVE to think twice before he messes with ZIM!" Zim half expected for GIR to come into the living room in a complete random way and screaming welcome back masta in a highly irritating squeal, but he was completely taken aback by GIR sitting on the floor, one of his arms missing, and empty (and torn up) pizza box in front of him. GIR was weeping. Zim looked concerned for his lil robot.  
  
"GIR? GIR?! What's wrong?"  
  
GIR looked up and Zim and grabbed him round the waist. "MASTA!!!!! I TRIED TO STOP HER! BUT SHE WOULDN'T SHE GRAB PIZZA HUMAN AND PULL HIM IN TRASHCAN!!!!!! AND SHE ATE ALL THE PIZZA!!!!!!" GIR was positively bawling at this point.  
  
"What about your arm?" Zim asked, fiddling with the wiring of the severed limb.  
  
"Oh, I pulled that off."  
  
Zim groaned. He walked into the kitchen and to the trash can, he stomped his foot and leaned over it. "WAZAT!!!!! GET UP HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!" HE put his anntena back and clenched his teeth, preparing to have a major yelling fit at Wazat when she came up. No response. Zim clenched his fists and stepped into the trash can and lowered into the lab. He stepped out right into a sticky red ooze. Zim stared at it..he knew he had seen this stuff somewhere before.it was vaguely familiar. All of this was driven out of his mind when he looked at his lab. There were dents in every piece of machinery going up to 6 ft above the floor, and more of the red stuff was covering the floor and machines. Zim walked a little further, wondering how the heck he was gonna get this all cleaned up when he saw the aforementioned pizza human, tangled up in wires twenty feet above his head. Wazat was perched on top of him, not aware that Zim was below her, tearing bits of flesh here and there and eating it. Even more of the red goo gushed out of the dead human, splattering onto Zim's head. Zim realized what it was now..blood. Not purple like Irkens' but red. Human blood. Zim freaked and tried to get the stuff off of him. Suddenly he was hit square in the back and knocked face first onto the floor. Zim sputtered and flipped over. Wazat made happy squeaky noises and nudged Zim's neck with her head, gently. Zim stared at the strange smeet. "Wazat?! What the hell did you do?! Somebody's BOUND to notice a missing HUMAN!!!! I swear you're worse than GIR!" He hit Wazat on the back with one of his spider legs. Wazat hissed and ran further off into the lab. Zim sighed.."GIR! Come down here and help me clean up this mess!"  
  
A few weeks after the whole pizza human incident the situation hadn't changed at all. Zim flipped through the channels on the television, tired out of his mind from yet another failed attempt to catch Wazat after she had ripped half of the lawn gnomes up from the ground. GIR came running up to him and jumped onto his stomach. "HI!!!! MASTA! I GOTS STUFF TO TELL!" "What is it GIR?" Zim asked, his voice not at all the dramatic voice we all know and love.  
  
GIR grinned happily. "Wazat in da street! With no disguise! Humans be making honking noises and doing stuffs with their fingers.I don't know why they do that. It's silly!" Zim jumped up. "YOU MEAN THAT...MONSTROSITY IS..OUTSIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT???!!!!!!!" HE quickly put on his disguise and ran out onto the sidewalk, where he could see Wazat in a circle of cars, full of humans honking at her angrily. Wazat was hunched down, whimpering, terrified. Zim sighed and stepped into the road. He held up a hand to the people in the cars.  
  
"HEY! GET OUT OF THE STREET BEFORE WE RUN OVER YOU AS WELL AS THAT UGLY THING AS WELL YA LOONEY!" shouted one of the drivers, leaning out the window.  
  
Zim was miffed, "Well that ugly thingy is my dog! So you can wait FILTHY HUMAN!!!!" And with that Zim gently picked up Wazat and carried her out of the middle of the road. She was trembling. The traffic continued as usual. Zim had barely made it to the door when an all to familiar voice rang out, "Since when do dogs look like you Zim?" Zim spun around and faced Dib. "None of your business Dib."  
  
"Needed a lil backup huh Zim? Couldn't handle it yourself?"  
  
Zim set Wazat on the ground, who instantly bared her fangs at Dib. Dib looked down on her. "It's another Irken isn't it?" he asked, a malicious gleam in his eye.  
  
Zim crossed him arms, "I have the mind to give you to Wazat like all those other humans," he said, sneering.  
  
Dib grinned, "So you're the one responsible for all these missing people on the news! I knew it was you..you and this..other you. So Zim, where are they?" Zim said nothing and pointed at Wazat, "Look at her and you be the judge." Despite the fact that she hadn't killed anything for a week, Wazat had bloodstains on her teeth and claws. Dib noticed this..."You're sick Zim. Really sick. I'll put a stop to this!" He ran off, no doubt plotting something for Zim's downfall.  
  
"NOT IF I PUT A STOP TO YOU FIRST DIB-WORM!" Zim yelled after him. He looked down at Wazat, who seemed quite calm now that Dib had left. "I don't think I mind your little habit if it helps me..heh heh heh."  
  
The next night Wazat decided to sleep up in house instead of the lab like usual. Zim supposed she was doing this as a favor to him since he saved her from being run over. Zim pat Wazat on the head, she was definitely more like a human dog than an Irken. Zim noticed that she was much more well behaved now and even went out of her solitary way to affectionately nibble on his finger, even though this generally resulted in Zim having to get new gloves and bandaging up his fingers. Zim went down into his lab to sleep (at least I think he sleeps). Wazat curled up on the couch and GIR was in his room (wherever that is) with Pimp Daddy (AKA Pig). The night crept on as usual untill two past midnight. Wazat opened her eyes and looked around, she sensed something moving in the shadows. She looked around and saw nothing, save for the dim glow of the TV. Suddenly something dropped from the ceiling, Wazat jumped up, preparing to attack this thing when everything went black. The last thing Wazat heard was Dib's voice.  
  
"Gotcha!"  
  
Stupid. Foolish. Dib. 


	4. And STUFF happens!

Author's Note: I'm back. I was at a friends all weekend. I saw Signs. It was goooood and scary. We scared people and we cracked jokes. "ZIM RUNS FREE!" The aliens looked like nekkid Irkens yo. Anyway. ON with the STORY! Now here's the part where I get good and evil on Dib. He is fun to get good and evil on. Yep..heh heh.  
  
"GIR! GIR! I can't find her! I can't find Wazat! Where could she be?! The Tallest are gonna call in any minute! I can't let them know I lost Wazat!!"  
  
"YOU LOST WAZAT?!" Tallest Purple yelled at Zim through the monitor.  
  
Zim turned around. "NO my Tallest, she's just hiding somewhere. Don't worry she'll turn up soon."  
  
"Lemme call her, since I'm practically her daddy and all"  
  
"NO WAY! YOU ALWAYS DO! IT'S MY TURN!!!" Red screamed from offscreen, he pushed his way into view. Purple sulked. "WAZAT! WAZAT?!" They waited..and waited...and waited. Purple was miffed. "YOU KILLED HER DIDN'T YOU?! JUST SHOT HER WITH YOUR LASER? HUH? HUH?" Zim was taken aback. "OF COURSE NOT my Tallest!!!! She must have been stolen!!" Zim hoped that would get Purple of his case. He was wrong. Red glared at him. "You're duty is to look out for Wazat!!! You failed us! Now we'll never get to see you get eaten-er succeed!!!"  
  
Purple glared twice as harder than Red, "We're sending somebody to kill you if you don't get Wazat back in 2 days. And don't think we're lying. Seeth!" A black eyed Irken in an all black spy uniiform walked into the picture. "Yes my Tallest?"  
  
"Make sure that if Zim doesn't show us Wazat in 2 days, you'll go to Earth and use that blade of yours on him"  
  
Seeth saluted. "Yes sir," He slid a long crooked dagger into his jacket. "I'll be sure of it" Purple turned back to Zim, grinning evilly at the pale expression on Zim's face. "Bye"  
  
The screen went blank. "GIR!" Zim cried.  
  
GIR ran into the room. "Yes my LORD?" He turned red. "We need to spread and search and find the filthy scum that took Wazat!"  
  
GIR turned green again "YAAY! TREASURE HUNT!"  
  
Dib dropped the sack on the floor of his room and Wazat crawled out. She blinked a few times and realized who she was with. With a hiss, she sprang into the air at Dib's throat, but something stopped her and she fell to the ground, Dib laughed.  
  
"Force field collar, to keep you from getting close enough near me to rip me apart." Wazat tried a few more times to jump on top of Dib, but each failed. Finally she gave up and sat on the floor and whimpered. All this time Dib was going through a box of scalpels, probes, etc. Autopsy tools. "Sure, I may not have Zim. But I DO have an alien." He pulled out a particularly nasty looking scalpel and set it on his desk, next to a computer. He turned it on and accessed the Swollen Eyeball network. Soon a shadowy figure appeared on the screen, this one a woman.  
  
"What is it Agent Mothman?" the figure asked in a computer altered voice, sounding like a slurred Chinese.  
  
"Agent Venusian, I have captured an alien for autopsy," Dib replied, moving aside so the figure could get a glimpse at the glaring Wazat. The figure seemed to be interested in this. "Very well, I'll be over tomorrow to get a better look at it and see if an autopsy is in order. It doesn't seem very threatening." "Oh it's a killer, I just have it in a force field collar of my dad's"  
  
"If you say so, Agent Venusian out." The screen went blank. Dib got out of the chair and turned back to Wazat. "If I'm lucky, I might have two aliens. Zim is BOUND to fall for this."  
  
"Well! What did you do with her? TELL MEEE! TELL ME!!"  
  
"I swear, I have no clue what you are talking about sir!" Zim looked up from the face of the terrified teenager. He still had hold of his collar of his uniform. As soon as Zim and GIR left the house, GIR ran off to Bloaty's, insisting that he needed pizza before they looked for Wazat. Zim followed, determined to find some sort of clue to where Wazat was taken. He figured he'd better start here while he was there. He turned back to teenager. "WHERE IS WAZAT YOU VILE STINK MONKEY?!" He spat on the boys face as he spoke.  
  
"Here! Take my money!" The boy cried, pulling a wad of cash out of his pocket and thrusting it into Zim's face. Zim slapped the money away. "I want none of your money filth worm! I want Wazat! Tell me!" "I don't know any Wazat, please don't hurt me!"  
  
"AHA!!!!! So you know her name, so you must have her! GIMME!"  
  
"I don't have her, you told me her name!"  
  
"SILENCE!" At this point Zim was quite frustrated at the teenage boy's incompetence. Zim turned to GIR, who was sitting on a table, with a tube of squeeze mayonaise, trying to squirt the filth onto a pizza that another customer was eating. Gaz. Zim dropped the teenager. Of course! How could he have been so stupid. DIB! Dib must have stolen Wazat, it made perfect sense, nobody else had really seen her up close, well..except for those 25 humans..but they never lived to tell.Zim walked up to Gaz, who was at the point of pulling a Nny on GIR.  
  
"I want mayo!"  
  
"Get off the table." "MAYO!" "Why don't you get your own pizza?!"  
  
"But...*sniff* the mayo!!!!!!!!" Gaz's eye twitched, Zim saw her reach into her pocket.Even though Zim didn't know Gaz very well, he knew whatever she was going to use on GIR, would definitely NOT be something that tickled. Zim grabbed GIR and stepped onto his head, pinning the robot to the ground. Zim leaned on the table. Gaz opened one eye.  
  
"Stop trying to hit on me, Zim."  
  
Zim stopped leaning and cleared his throat, "I'm looking for a lost.erm.pet. Do you have any clue to where I may find her? If I don't, I'll have my head torn off!" Gaz smirked, "Actually, that would be kinda cool."  
  
"No! It's not "cool".TeLL ME WHERE WAZAT IS!" Zim had Gaz on the table, pinning her arms down with his hands. Gaz's eyes narrowed and she kicked Zim hard in the squeedlyspootch. He fell off the table and doubled up on the floor, his eyes watering. Gaz got out of the table and stood next to Zim.  
  
"Can't I even go anywhere without you following me?! I mean it's bad enough at home now with Dib ranting on and on about how he's finally captured an alien and I can't even go to Bloaty's without you pouncing on me. You perverted sicko." And with that, she kicked Zim in the head and walked out the door. Gir jumped up and tried to follow her, but the sliding glass doors slammed into his head as he tried to get through the door.  
  
"SHE LIKES ME!!!!" Zim got up, his voice unusually high and weak, "That's it. Wazat must be at Dib's house. We've got to get her back GIR! Come on!" Zim hobbled out the door, still clutching his stomach, GIR followed.  
  
"Hey masta, you sound funny! Like that one time that ball hit Dib in the-"  
  
"COME ON GIR!"  
  
Dib sat on his bed, studying Wazat and taking notes. He was becoming quite bored with her, all she had been doing for the past few hours was laying there on Dib's floor, whimpering. Once or twice Dib considered taking off the force field collar around Wazat's throat to get a little excitement going. He stopped himself though, when he almost lost his hand when Wazat snapped at it. He sighed and shifted slightly to the front, to get a better view of Wazat's face to draw a quick sketch, he wanted to have a few notes about the Irken before he and the Swollen Eyeballs autopsied her. Wazat didn't even bother looking up at Dib, she was so miserable and tired. She was dying of hunger, and she couldn't kill Dib because of the collar around her neck. She just sighed and curled up, trying to ignore the fact that her supposed dinner was staring at her, intently. At least when she was with Zim, he had humans to give her when she was hungry. Cloned, frozen humans, when he had figured out that she wouldn't eat anything else. Dib noticed this. "Good that you're hungry, that means that you won't have enough energy to do anything when we take off that collar tomorrow." He grinned a nasty grin. He hoped he was provoking Wazat, he really wanted something to happen. In fact he wanted something to happen so bad he grabbed a broom and started poking her. Wazat couldn't stand this and shakily got up onto 4 feet (that's just the way she walks and stands now). She put her antennae back and hissed. Dib smiled, glad something happened, and poked her some more. Wazat's red eyes narrowed into slits and she crouched, prepared to spring at Dib, despite the fact that she would inevitably be stopped by the horrible force field collar. She growled a low growl, as if telling Dib 'poke me one more time and I swear I will rip your windpipe out.' Dib heard this and lifted the broom handle to prod Wazat one more time.  
  
"YEOWCH!" Dib fell to the ground, stunned for a few seconds while Zim climbed through his window. Wazat's lifted her antennae, happy to see Zim, after so long. Zim was appalled to see the condition that Wazat was in, miserable, her antennae drooped limply, instead of the normal upright way, and you could see her ribs from not being able to eat anything. He kneeled down next to Wazat and handed her a frozen human finger. Wazat squeaked weakly and took the finger graciously. Dib got up and faced Zim. "I knew you would come here Zim. You love that horrible monster too much for your own good." He held up a tazer, ready to stun Zim and Wazat. "Any last words before you're thrown onto the table?"  
  
"Yes, and Wazat isn't a horrible monster. She's actually quite a useful ally," Zim said, fingering the collar around Wazat's neck, finding the button that released the mechanism. Wazat felt his hand on the collar and prepared for another attempt at Dib's throat. "Wanna see?!"  
  
Dib's eyes widened in fear as he saw the collar fall away from Wazat as if in slow motion. He dropped the tazer, he would never be fast enough with it to stun a hungry and angry Wazat.  
  
Dunn DUNN DUNNNNN...... 


	5. Feeling Evil to Dib and Zim

Author's note: Sorry this took so long! I was on vacation in Texas. THEER ARE SO MANY LIL FRIKKIN KIDS THERE!!!!!!!! AAAAAAGH!!! I want to BURN them all!!!!! See, there wouldn't be a problem with little kids if cannibalism was a socially accepted thing!!! GOD HOW I LUV CANNIBALISM!!! Don't ask why. I just do. That's why I have Wazat, and a few other peeps. Yep. I can get away with ruthlessly murdering Irkens.  
  
Well it was tough. I wanted to kill Dib like you had NO CLUE! But some people would hate me if I did. Plus Zim isn't ZIM without Dib. So I decided just to horribly maim him. Well Enjoy and you'll under stand.  
  
With a horrible scream Wazat flung herself at Dib in insane fury. Fire in her crimson eyes. Dib closed his eyes, unable to do anything else, he waited for the pain in his windpipe, then the undeniable blackness. And then..whatever happens after that. He wasn't prepared for the hard thunk on the back of his head, nearly causing him to black out. He then heard a terrible crashing noise and a snap. He opened his eyes and realized that he wasn't dead, and none of his organs were spilt on the floor. GIR was standing hapilly in front of him, while Zim was yelling at GIR.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU DO?! WE WERE NEARLY RID OF DIB!!!!!!"  
  
"I HELPEDED!!!!!!!" GIR screamed happily.  
  
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO WAZAT!"  
  
Dib turned to look behind him on his bed. It was snapped in two, with Wazat in the center. She groaned miserably and shook her head to get her bearings back. She was recovering quickly though. Dib quickly hid behind Zim, who was appaled at the fact that Dib was using him as cover. Wazat growled and crouched for another attack on Dib, put whined miserably when she saw that Dib was behind Zim. No way she could pounce on Dib without scalping Zim in the process. Dib realized this and threw his arms in the air triumphantly, unaware of the fact Zim had used his spider legs to climb onto the ceiling, exposing him for Wazat. Wazat pounced on Dib, this time, pinning him to the ground. Dib looked into Wazat's eyes, they were filled with the thrill of the hunt. One of his hands was free and he flung it to his throat just as Wazat clamped down. An agonizing searing pain pierced his hand and he was pulled to his knees. He saw that Wazat had a firm grip on his hand with her teeth and was shaking her head back and forth and screeching loudly. Then Dib saw it before he felt it, his arm from the elbow down had been ripped clean off with the curdling noise of meat being sliced by a cleaver very slowly. Suddenly Dib's body flooded with overwhelming pain as it just accepted the fact that his lower arm had been abruptly removed from the rest of him. Blood spurted everywhere, making the scene look much worse than it really was.  
  
"WAZAT! FINISH HIM!!!!!OBEY ME!!!!!!REMEMBER WHAT HE DID TO YOU??!!" Wazat looked at Zim with one eye and continued chewing on the shredded bloody mess that Dib recognized as his own arm. Dib looked to the ground and had the feeling he was going to be ill. Zim was still screaming, trying to egg on Wazat to kill him properly. GIR sat down next to Wazat and stared at the arm, "Can I get some of that?!" Wazat growled and tore bits of flesh and fabric off of the limb with more ripping sounds. GIR poked Wazat, who twitched her tail irritatedly and rustled her wings.  
  
"BUT IT LOOKS GOOD!" Wazat swiped at GIR and hissed.  
  
"BUT I NEED IT!!!!" GIR continued poking Wazat. Wazat growled some more and grabbed the arm in her fangs and leaped out the window and made a beeline for Zim's house. Zim was miffed.  
  
"COME BACK HERE AND KILL THE DIB!!!!!!!!" Wazat didn't reply and continued running down the street. Zim climbed out of the window, followed by GIR. Zim's head popped back into view. "You were lucky Dib..." He muttered an Irken curse and disappeared down the road in pursuit of Wazat.  
  
Dib stared at his left arm, a bleeding stump. "Lucky," he snorted. He collapsed onto the floor.  
  
Red blinked. "Hey? Hasn't it been 2 days since Zim lost Wazat?" Purple grinned, "Yes, yes it HAS been. Should we check up on him?"  
  
"All right, TECH! Bring up Zim on the view screen!" Red barked at the emerald eyed tech. The screen turned on revealing the interior of Zim's house, with the wallpaper slashed. Zim toppled into view, his legs flew into the air. HE got up and brushed himself off, showing many slash marks on his uniform. He saluted. "Greetings my Tallest," Zim said shakily. "Where's Wazat?" demanded Purple. "Yes, Wazat," Zim said, looking off screen and behind him. "She's here, I got her back, she's just hiding, I think and AGH!" Zim was knocked once again to the ground. But this time, the Tallest could see what had toppled him, Wazat. She blinked twice at the screen and made a happy noise, glad to see another familiar face. The Tallest (mainly Purple) melted at seeing Wazat again. Much awwwing ensued. I don't know any other way to describe it...just u know when u see something cute, so adorably cute, and u just have to make that awww sound. Even when that adorably cute has red blood around her mouth. But still. It's cute. (I used cute 3 times, no four, wait five. STOP ME!) Zim managed to crawl his way out from underneath Wazat, who seemed to have a very trance like effect on the Tallest. Zim didn't understand it. He stood up again. "So you see, my Tallest, Wazat is perfectly fine, so I guess you can call off the whole, slit my throat thing? Hmm?" he put on a smile that deeply disturbed Red and Purple, but wasn't enough to snap them outta their trance. "Yeah sure, whatever," Purple said. He pointed to Seeth in the background, who was sulking. "You're out of the job." Seeth grumbled and spat on the ground. He stalked out of the room, but not before giving Zim an Irken bird in the background. Zim ignored this fact because he was too happy not to be killed. Or so he thought. Red looked at Zim, then Purple, then back at Zim. "Uh Zim, we've got another call, we'll be right back..in fact. Leave the room, we don't want to keep you away from your plot of world conquest."  
  
"We don't?" Purple asked, perplexed. Red knocked him on the back of the head.  
  
Zim shrugged, "all right my Tallest." He left, as easy as that. Is he stupid or what? Wazat watched him leave. GIR walked into the room, he didn't notice the blank screen, but he did notice Wazat. "HI WAZAT!!!" he screamed, and waved. He jumped on top of her "GET ALONG LIL DOGGIE!!" Wazat succeeded in tearing one of his legs off. GIR threw his arms around her neck and fell asleep, drooling. Wazat ignored this and sat on the couch, the Tallest were done discussing. The screen turned back on "Right, Zim, you can come back now." Red said.  
  
Zim came back in and saluted once again. "Yes, my Tallest."  
  
Purple looked like he was about to spill the whole plan, Red stopped him however. "Good job Zim, you're doing us proud."  
  
Zim puffed up. "Thank you, well Invader Zim, signing off!" The screen on the Massive went blank. Red motioned to the door. "Seeth, come here."  
  
The black eyed Irken sauntered in, grinning a malicious grin. "Yes, my Tallest?" Purple put his fingers together, "We have a secret mission for you..on Earth."  
  
Seeth's ebony eyes narrowed with homicidal glee. The Tallest allowed themselves nasty grins..  
  
I dun like that...Zim better look out. 


	6. Wazat's sweet lil REVENGE

WHOOOOO! HOOOO! I SURVIVED THE FIRST WEEK OF SKOOL! I feel like I accomplished something. YAY! Okay heres the next part. And yes. Dib has a metal arm. WHEEE!!!! Onward!  
  
The next day Zim planned on working on a device to change the weather, he didn't get to far because Wazat had made a habit of chasing GIR and knocking him out of commission. Zim had to admit, it was nice with the frequent breaks of peace and quiet, until GIR ran past him screaming.  
  
"MASTA! SHE'S GONE INSANE!!!!! WAZAT WANTS TO EAT ME!!!!" "Get used to it GIR, she can't eat you anyway, you're a robot." "OKAY! AAAAAAAAAAAH!" GIR screamed again as he bolted out of the way of Wazat, who skidded into view right into the place GIR was a few seconds before. Zim sighed and looked down at Wazat. "You're hungry aren't you?"  
  
Wazat's stomach answered that question. IT growled loudly. Zim groaned."Right, now what are we gonna do. I haven't had time to clone any humans because I thought you would eat ALL of the Dib.So until I can, you're out of luck." Wazat's antennae drooped, she rustled her wings irritably. She looked up at Zim with the saddest look she could muster. You know that look that is so pitiful that it makes you want to find the person that caused that look and shove a very sharp pointy stick down their throat. That look. Zim was impervious to this because he didn't understand cute. He looked sternly down at Wazat. "I'M SORRY! BUT YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT!!!!!" He turned back to his project.  
  
Wazat didn't quite understand what he had just said. However, if he wasn't going to give her anything, she'd just have to get something to eat herself. And here it was standing in front of her. She didn't take any time to contemplate that Zim was the one who took care of her for the past 2 months. She sprung onto his pack and pinned him face down onto the ground.  
  
Zim flipped over and saw Wazat lying on top of him. "I HAVE NO TIME FOR GAMES WAZAT!!! GET OFF!!" Only then he realized the intense look in Wazat's eyes that wasn't generally there when she pounced on him for fun. Another setback was Wazat's claws digging into his chest, drawing purple Irken blood. This was no game.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAACH! GET OFF!" Zim managed to knock Wazat off of him with his spider legs before she sunk her teeth into his jugular vein. Wazat yowled and turned to  
  
Zim, she hissed. Zim kicked her.  
  
"NEVER EVER TRY TO EAT ME AGAIN UNDERSTAND?!" Zim bellowed at Wazat, he pulled a bottle of pepper spray out of his PAK, after seeing a short show on dogs, Zim assumed that he should get some in case Wazat misbehaved badly. He squirted a blast in her face.  
  
"YEEEEEEEEOW!" Wazat cried, her eyes tearing up. She tried to wipe the spray from her eyes with the back of her clawed hand. She walked away with her tail between her legs. Zim looked as she left the lab. "I can't trust her that often anymore, that was WAY to close. Maybe giving her back to the Tallest would be a good idea."  
  
A few days after the entire trying to eat Zim thing, Wazat was nowhere to be seen. Zim assumed she was sulking some place around the lab because he noticed a quite dramatic increase in chewed on circuits and bloodstains on the machinery once again. No doubt Wazat was out stalking at night, taking down humans who were too drunk to do anything about saving themselves. Zim ignored this, he was to busy figuring out a plan to send her back to Irk. He also noticed Dib was a lot more horrible to him at skool. After the 50th time he had explained to his classmates how exactly he lost his arm, an being dubbed insane-er, Dib pressed in harder on Zim.  
  
"So Zim, where's that little pet of yours? Huh?" he spat viciously in Zim's face.  
  
Zim wiped it of with the back of his hand, despite the fact it stung a little. "At home, somewhere, figuring out how she can eat the rest of you one night,' he replied eyeing Dib's new appendage. A metal arm, no doubt his dad had created it. Dib's face paled. "Yeah right Zim.you're bluffing." Zim shook his head, "If only I was Dib. If only I was." Zim stepped into his house and shut the door. "GIR!" GIR came out of the kitchen. "YES MY LORD?!" "Where is Wazat?"  
  
"I DO NOT KNOW!!!" GIR squealed happily. Zim groaned and massaged his temples. He did not notice the Dib spy climbing in through the kitchen window and crawling into the trash can. (I like the trash can) He stood there for a while more, hoping his headache would subside, when he heard an all to familiar scream come from below him. Zim hurtled himself into the toilet and wound up at the entrance to his lab. Dib was leaned up against the wall with Wazat growling, closing in on him. Zim was pleased.  
  
"YES WAZAT! FINISH HIM!!!!! DESTROY THE INTRUDER!!!" Wazat stalked closer to Dib, growling. Dib gulped, he had no way to duck this time.and GIR was too occupied with the television to be any help. Just when he thought how he was going to die and which part Wazat was going to devour of him first, Wazat jumped right into his lap and purred. Zim was taken aback. He was furious now!  
  
"DIB!! YOU'VE CORRUPTED HER MIND!!! WAZAT!!KILL HIM!! KILL HIM!!!!"  
  
Wazat gave Zim an evil death glare and nudged Dib lightly underneath his chin. She twitched her tail happily, like a cat does when its content. Dib was completely confused at this point. Perhaps it was the fact he was in his spy gear instead of his usual clothes. He supposed if Wazat saw him the the blue shirt and trench coat, she'd waste no time in ripping him to shreds. But as a matter of fact, Wazat was doing this to piss Zim off. Revenge for spraying her eyes with pepper spray. She knew that killing Dib would make Zim happy, and she didn't want to make him happy at the moment. So she did the opposite, she nudged Dib. This indeed made Zim nuts.  
  
"ALL RIGHT IF YOU WON'T DESTROY HIM!! I WILL! GET OUT OF THE WAY WAZAT!" Zim yelled, manic look in his eyes as he pulled out a laser gun. Wazat narrowed her eyes and growled very low and sat straight in front of Zim. Zim didn't like this. "FINE THEN!! I'LL JUST DESTROY YOU BOTH!!!" He attempted to pull the trigger on the gun, but Wazat leaped onto him and bit down on his gun arm, hard. Zim dropped the gun and grabbed his arm, which was bleeding profusely. Seeing this Dib took the opportunity to get out of the lab and back home. He hadn't managed to get some pictures, but at least he had a somewhat ally. All he had to do was keep her happy.  
  
Wazat watched Zim as he roughly bandaged his injured arm, he glared at Wazat, who yawned, bored with him. "I hate you." 


	7. Zim's Brilliant but extremely OOC PLAN!

Author's Note: Okay This is so Out of character its not funny. Zim has yet another brilliant idea. And this one just might work. Yes he is quite smart when his life is at stake in my world. You can hate me for this but I'll just stick my tongue out at you. I will.  
  
I'm sorry for the long break in the story. But I have been extremely busy and working on the story of one of my fancharacters, Zyne. And doing fanart, which you can access here, assuming boomspeed is not being a bitch. http://ftp.boomspeed.com/zyne  
  
And now.Chapter 7!  
  
After Wazat had her revenge things went back to the way they were before. One day Wazat was watching intently as Zim did repairs on his Voot. His arm was still bandaged and he was still a bit mad at Wazat for not obeying him. But he got over it when Wazat affectionately nudged him. He noticed however, that she had gotten slightly bigger and her nubs of horn had grown a bit. He still didn't trust her completely and was still bent on sending her back to the Tallest. He hadn't figured out a way quite yet however. He continued his maintainence on the Voot while Wazat jumped down off the piece of equipment she was sitting on and stalked out the door. "Great, he is completely oblivious...this should be a snap." a voice whispered, not to far ahead.  
  
Wazat was curious, she slowly and silently padded her way up the corridor a little further and spotted Seeth, jagged dagger in his right hand, listening to Zim work. Wazat realized that this Irken meant to do harm to Zim. Wazat growled softly and walked back into the Voot repair bay and pounced on GIR.  
  
"AAAAAAAAH! SHE GONNA EAT ME!!!!!" GIR screamed, Zim ignored this and continued working on the Voot. Wazat dragged GIR out of the room by his hand. GIR was, amazingly, quiet. Wazat covered his mouth with a clawed hand and GIR's eyes zoomed in on Seeth, who was still brooding on how rediculously easy it was to destroy Zim, but not actually getting around to it. (he's an idiot) Wazat then dragged GIR back to Zim. She noticed in her stay with the 2 that GIR seemed to blab just about whatever to Zim, and this trait could quite possibly save him. She let go of GIR's hand and just as expected GIR got in Zim's face and divulged the whole thing.  
  
"Hey Masta! Wazat show me some guy with big knife that want to kill you. He got black eyes!" GIR squeaked, happy to tell Zim stuff. "Seeth." Zim muttered under his breath. "I knew he'd come..especially after that vulgar expression he gave me. Right. He wants me dead." Zim thought for a few seconds then put his finger in the air. "I got it! Wazat, can you act like you've just eaten?"  
  
Wazat blinked and lay down on the floor, licking her claws and twitching her tail just like a cat does when it had just consumed a mouse. Zim smiled. "Nice..okay.GIR? Can u be sad?? GIR?" GIR wasn't paying attention. He was happily squeaking his moose and giggling. Zim swiped it away and GIR started bawling. Zim groaned. "GIR I'll give your moose back after you've been sad and pretended that Wazat got me instead of you? Understand?" GIR jumped up and clapped his hands. "YESH!" He immediately began bawling again. "BAD WAZAT! YOU EATY MASTA!!!!! I HATE YOU! WAAAH!" "Okay, now to make it believable." Zim pulled off the bandage on his arm, where it was still bleeding, he put his fingers in the blood and wiped it around on Wazat's face and claws. He rebandaged his arm, wincing. "Very good. All right, I'll go hide.over there." Zim left and hid behind a false wall thingy. "Let's hope this works." 


	8. The happy little lovey end of DOOM!

Author's note: Sorry. I've been in Texas. How I hate it.I was stuck in an airport for 8 hours and I was going INSANE!!!! Well anyways. This is the end of Wazat's story. But don't fret. She lives on. I might do a sequel, after I'm done with Zyne's story..which should be sometime this year. That'll have to be my new years resolution. Anyways. To sum it all up. And more adorable demon smeet happiness.  
  
Chapter 8!  
  
At that moment Seeth decided to bust in. "ALL RIGHT ZIM!! PREPARE FOR YOUR DEMISE!!! er...hey where's Zim. I heard him a minute ago." GIR knocked right into Seeth, crying. "MASTA GET EATED!!! WAZAT BAD!!!! WAAAAAAH!!!!!" he went into a fit, much like the one in FBI WOD. "WHY! WHHHY! WHHHHHY!!! BOOOO!" Seeth scratched his head in confusion. "He did? Wait how could that be, I didn't hear anything of the sort. Huh?" He then spotted Wazat on the ground at his feet. She was lazing around very much like those huge pythons that eat deer, (first cats, now snakes. What next, a crow?) licking her claws, which were spattered with Irken blood. So was her her mouth, she yawned and fell asleep, her tail flicking back and forth. Meanwhile, in the secret hiding place, Zim covered his mouth to keep himself from bursting into manic laughter. "He's falling for it." Seeth stared. "Wow.I didn't even have to do anything.that was WAY easier than I thought. I didn't even really have to come here did I? Hmmm.heh. Whoo. Well if Zim's dead, I suppose I got to bring the smeet back don't I?" he asked nothing. GIR was still crying about Zim's pretend demise. "Well, she's done her job. I guess. The Tallest will pay me HANDSOMELY! WHOO!" And with that he picked up Wazat and covered her with a piece of cloth that smelt like Purple.assuming that the familiar scent would keep her from attacking him, and left on Zim's Voot. Wazat snoozed on..(she sleeps very VERY deeply) As soon as Zim was sure Seeth left, he came form out behind the false wall. GIR immediately stopped screaming. Zim stomped his foot. "Dammit! He took Wazat!!! I GOT to GET her back!!!"  
  
"Masta? I THOUGHTS U WANTED HER TO GO!!!!"  
  
Zim eyed his robot. "Yes, I did.but she's sorta become part of our, what u call it...erm. eh. Family I guess.yeah.  
  
"Like we mom and dad. An Wazat ish our kid."  
  
"Sorta"  
  
"WE'S GOT ONE SCREWED UP FAMILY!!!" Zim groaned and turned towards the Voot, but realized it was gone. He spat on the ground. "SHIT! I forgot that they took my Voot. ARGH! How we gonna follow 'em now?" "I DO not KNOW." Zim sat on the floor, defeated..Wazat was gone."I'm gonna miss the lil monster."  
  
Meanwhile on the Massive a screen popped up, announcing the arrival of a Voot that was coming in to dock. The Tallest saw this screen. "Seeth's back." Purple said. "Hopefully he killed Zim," Red replied.  
  
"I know Seeth. He doesn't give up on his duties that easily."  
  
"Let's go see!" The Tallest went into the docking place (for lack of better words), ready to congratulate their hero. However, when they opened the windshield of the Voot, they didn't find Seeth. Wazat sat on the seat, covered in muck and blood. She squeaked happily, happy to see a familiar face again.  
  
"Where's Seeth?" Red asked nobody in particular.  
  
His question was answered when an Irken skeleton fell out from behind the seat, the jagged blade in its hand told the Tallest at once, that it was formerly Seeth. They both gulped, but couldn't stay shocked for long. Wazat was too darn cute, even if she looked like some monster from a horror movie. Purple picked up Wazat and cuddled her. "HEY LOOK WAZAT'S BACK!" Red took a step backwards, remembering his near fatal encounter with the smeet. "Yah. I noticed"  
  
Back on Earth things were returning back to normal. Zim's house was once again in good running condition, GIR was fixed..sorta. At least he didn't have holes in him anymore. And Zim dumped all of the cloned humans he had for Wazat out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. How he missed her. He was brooding on this fact when Dib confronted him, still with a metal arm. "Zim? What happened to that lil beast of yours?" he asked, sneering. "I haven't heard anything coming from your house for a while."  
  
Zim was so miserable, he couldn't think of anything to say to Dib except, "Wazat's gone."  
  
Dib breathed a sigh of relief. "Finally, I'll be able to expose you now. Now that you don't have that monster hanging around anymore."  
  
Zim didn't say anything. He just walked on, blocking Dib out. Finally he reached his house and walked inside. He immediately noticed that the Tallest were on the view screen. He straightened himself up and saluted. "Greetings my Tallest. I see you have Wazat back." He said, noticing Wazat trying to perch on Purple's shoulder, Red was a considerable amount of distance away from the 2. "Yes, you did a good job taking care of Wazat, Zim. I guess you're not useless after all." Purple said.  
  
Zim swelled with pride. "You're welcome, my Tallest." "But you're still annoying." Red added.  
  
Zim shrank. "Umm.noted." "Anyway.we're keeping Wazat and stuff. So goodbye." The screen went blank. Zim smiled. At least Wazat was back where she belonged, Irk. However, 2 minutes later, the Tallest called back in. The scene was different, things were dented, on fire, and there was screaming in the background. The Tallest looked at Zim pleadingly.  
  
"HEEEELP USS!" The transmission was abruptly cut. 


End file.
